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I was visiting a buddy in the valley the other night and we really had nothing to do.  So, we decided to drain a bottle of Captain Morgan and head to a strip club that offered “free cover” (not really free because it cost me my innocence, and 10 dollars).  Once at the club, it was indeed a trick.  The club had 2 entrances, 1 to the full nude for $10, the other to the bikini bar for free (if I had a nickel for every time I was tricked by promises of free nudity…).  After grabbing a beer at the bikini bar, we were loose enough to drop the coin for entry into the full nude.

Once inside, my buddy grabs us 2 seats at the bar.  Generally, if you sit right at the bar, it’s customary to tip, luckily we don’t give a fuck.  After a barrage of mediocore women, finally the gem of the club steps onto the stage.  I gaze into her homely mug, then my eyes meander down to her sagging breasts, next I stare intently at her pregnant belly, and finally my eyes wonder south to her beat up… wait a second, back up.  Pregnant belly?  Oh yes.  I look around at the rest of the crowd, comprised mainly of lumberjacks and migrant workers, yet it appears that only my buddy and I are taken back by this sight.  She comes over to us and shows us her birth canal.  I start crying and give her 2 dollars to go away.  Later, during the 2 for 1 lap dance special (yeah, this place was classy), and insider (bobble-head blond) who was grinding my pal alerts him that the dancer in question was indeed 7 months pregnant.

On the way out, I reflect on this revelation.  Much like bigfoot or the enchanted unicorn, the pregnant stripper is a creature always spoken of yet never seen.  Well my friends, thanks to technology and lackluster security, we now have proof that she does in fact exist.  Godspeed.

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(These pictures are good, but they don’t come close to doing justice to show how pregnant this stripper actually was)