The Key West Chronicles

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Day 2 – 6:30pm

Just as I start to get cozy, I hear my name being summoned in the distance.  It’s Franchize.  Him, along with Rizzo and the Bonks, have just returned from the beach (we briefly ran into them as we were packing up our stuff).  Franchize shouts my name as he spots me on his walk to their room.  I use all my strength to throw my arm into the air, signifying I’m still conscious.  They all pile into the room, and again I try to “nap it out”.

Day 2 – 7:00pm

After getting a nice, long rest (30 minutes), I crawl out of the chair and hobble back to the hotel room.  Again it’s locked, and the “not so secret key” is nowhere to be found Keep reading…

The Key West Chronicles

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Day 2 – 7:49am (exact time, I checked my phone immediately after I woke up)

Several years ago, a friend of mine named Annie introduced to a very unusual game.  Here are the rules: If you open one eye and know exactly where you are, you lose.  If you open both eyes and know exactly where you are, you lose.  But if you open both eyes, sit up and look around, and you still don’t know where you are, you win.  Interesting game, I know Keep reading…

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Where we’re going, we won’t need roads.

The Key West Chronicles

Part 1

Part 2

Day 1 – 6:00pm

After 30 minutes of relaxation, I jump out of my beach lounge chair in a panic; holy shit, we have been on Spring Break for 30 minutes (actually my life is a Spring Break) and we aren’t statistically drunk?  After I slap AJ and myself for being dumbasses, I ask a still coherent Bonk where the local liquor store is located.  Again he gives excellent directions (this will change dramatically very shortly) and we are at the liquor store in no time.  The only forms of identification I have at this point are expired fake Keep reading…

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Stereotypes are earned.

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Yes, you are.

The Key West Chronicles

Part 1

This is the Chronicle that started them all.  During March of 2007, a friend and I took an impromptu trip down to Key West to join our friends whom were already on Spring Break.  I was 20 at the time, and when I returned from the trip, I just started writing down what had happened because it was pretty surreal.  I had no notes, no camera (although I have since gathered a few pictures from friends), and barely any memory; the fact that I could naturally remember a ton of details is still a mystery to me.  I’ve edited it (barely) since then because my writing skills were even shittier; but I’ve left the tone and voice of my 20-year-old self as is.  Believe it or not, I was even more of a Dumbass back then.  Without further ado, I present to you The Key West Chronicles.

Day 1 – 6:30am

The most obnoxious sound known to man bangs away: the alarm clock.  Today is different though; it makes a different tune, one that is music to my ears instead of trauma to my brain.  Today I awake for a different reason.  Instead of school or work, I wake for the first day of Spring Break.  The first day of four, filled with tequila and poor decisions Keep reading…

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You’re not fooling anybody pal; although I blame the restaurant for having a bottle opener attached to the “no alcohol beyond this point” sign.

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In the alley garage sale?  They must be selling speakers that “fell off the truck”…

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You gotta love these assholes.