The Santa Barbara Chronicles

Part 1

Part 2

About a month prior to this voyage, I was out partying with Dnasty and two female rocket scientists he called co-workers.  At the time, Dnasty worked at Chili’s; I should have seen this red flag from a mile away.  Drinking all the beers in the world couldn’t make these girls interesting (attractive), and trust me we tried.  So much so that when the bar tried to boot us out at 2am and all of the liquor stores were closed, I pleaded with the bartender to sell me some “to go” beers because my goggles still weren’t strong enough Keep reading…

The Key West Chronicles

Part 1

This is the Chronicle that started them all.  During March of 2007, a friend and I took an impromptu trip down to Key West to join our friends whom were already on Spring Break.  I was 20 at the time, and when I returned from the trip, I just started writing down what had happened because it was pretty surreal.  I had no notes, no camera (although I have since gathered a few pictures from friends), and barely any memory; the fact that I could naturally remember a ton of details is still a mystery to me.  I’ve edited it (barely) since then because my writing skills were even shittier; but I’ve left the tone and voice of my 20-year-old self as is.  Believe it or not, I was even more of a Dumbass back then.  Without further ado, I present to you The Key West Chronicles.

Day 1 – 6:30am

The most obnoxious sound known to man bangs away: the alarm clock.  Today is different though; it makes a different tune, one that is music to my ears instead of trauma to my brain.  Today I awake for a different reason.  Instead of school or work, I wake for the first day of Spring Break.  The first day of four, filled with tequila and poor decisions Keep reading…